Every parent wants a child that is well mannered and respectful, and you can ask just about anyone and get vastly different opinions on how to raise a good kid. The subject is surrounded by a lot of controversy, especially with disciplinary manners like spanking, and what is considered acceptable and what not. Fortunately, raising a good, obedient child is not difficult, and the concept of keeping your kid from acting like a hyperactive monkey out in public is one that appeals to most parents. – So here we’re going to talk about some basic principles for raising a child that not only is obedient, but respects you as well.
One of the very biggest issues in raising a child is trust. You might be surprised to learn that most children don’t trust their parents. – And no, I don’t mean this in a “physical harm” way. Most parents let their children get away with far too much, and they do not follow up on the things they say they are going to do. How often do you see a stressed out mother telling her child in the store that if he doesn’t put the treat back upon the shelf that he will get a spanking, and when the child defiantly refuses, she merely snatches the toy away and puts it back for him? This is one of the easiest and most common mistakes parents make. You must always do whatever it is you say you will. If you threaten to take away a child’s TV privileges for doing something, and they still do it, you must follow up on it every single time.
When you punish a child for an undesired behavior, you are sending them the message that they will not be allowed to engage in such behavior without a negative consequence. Every single time you fail to do so you are establishing in their minds a pattern of inconsistency – times where you have said one thing, and done another. This leads to a lack of trust, where the child has no trust for your promises and threats. It can be extremely difficult, but make sure to always deliver if you set a rule or make a threat.
Another big parenting issue is embarrassment in public. Numerous parents allow their child to get away with being obnoxious in public because they feel it’d be far more humiliating to punish the child in front of strangers. This is another huge no-no. Of course disciplining your kid in public can be quite embarrassing, but it will ensure that your child will think twice before he acts up again. – In fact, it is much more embarrassing to allow your child to be the one walking all over you.
So many parents seem to think that children misbehave in public despite what they do, and that punishing the child will end up becoming a repeated process. – They end up deciding it is much, much easier to allow their child to act out of control. This is a very absurd and untrue train of thought. By making sure that you come down on your child the very first time they ever act up in public, you are sending the message that the behavior will not be tolerated, and therefore the chances of it happening again are much less. If they act up again, make sure you discipline them then as well, and this will reduce the chances of it happening again even more. The question really is, would you rather your child misbehave for years to come, or merely those first few times?
The bottom line is that the worst thing you can do when your child misbehaves is to let it pass unpunished. It may seem like it is harsh or unloving, but it is just the opposite – when you punish your child, they are learning, and the message is that some things are not socially acceptable. This will make their life easier as well as yours. Remember that what you’re trying to do here is build trust – your child’s trust that you will uphold your word, no matter what you say. If you can do this, then you will find yourself with a much better behaving child.
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