Being Present

Staying in the moment changes your focus to the immediate and alters your body's responses.

The holiday season is here again. This time of year brings with it stressors that you don't ordinarily encounter, such as really bad weather that seems to last forever, the flu season, cabin fever, and of course, the three major holidays that occur between October and December.

No matter what stresses you out, there is undoubtedly a fear or two associated with it. Are you worried about money - the fear that you won't have enough? Or the cold and flu season - maybe you worry that you or a loved one will catch something. If you drive to work every day, you may fear that bad weather will either be treacherous to drive in, or cause you to lose valuable work time. Plus, snow can cause school closures, which add an additional stress of having the children at home. If you are someone who doesn't take part in the holidays, then you may have to deal with neighbors, relatives, and friends who do, and the fear may be that you won't fit in, or that others will ignore you.

Whatever the stressors are that you will encounter in the next three months, the best defense against them is to be present. Looking back into the past, or ahead into the future - even if it's just a minute ago or a minute from now - can cause you to feel stress, because you are focusing on something that doesn't exist in the moment. But the truth is, if it doesn't exist, it is not a real threat.

The next time you're feeling stressed about an event that's already happened or one that may happen in the future, notice how your body reacts. You may have a racing heart, sweaty palms, dry mouth, and you may feel anxious. Your body is reacting to something that it isn't even experiencing in real time. Then allow that thought to just move through you, and focus only on your breathing. Just take a couple of deep, deep breaths, smile (even fake smiles count), and notice your immediate surroundings. Concentrate for just a minute on your body, or something in nature, or a pet. Be present. Stay in the moment for as long as you can. Ignore any thought that has to do with the past or the future.
Staying in the moment changes your focus to the immediate and alters your body's responses. This is the quickest way to restore calmness to your body and your mind.

What used to be is gone; what might be hasn't happened yet, and may not. All any of us really have is this very moment. Practice being present, and pretty soon you will become a part of the moment, every moment. Only then can you truly say that you are in full control.