Learn the 7 steps on the communications spectrum in this article and join the communication greats.
Research shows that the communication style we adopt with others can have a profound effect on the quality of our relationships. Tell someone what to do when they want you to listen, or listen when you need to act, and the result is frustration and unwanted outcomes. Here are the 7 key styles in the communication spectrum. Master these and apply them correctly and you will be seen as a highly skilled communicator.
1. Command-and-Tell. The command-and-tell style of communications is often referred to as the military model because those on the receiving end of the communication are expected to follow orders. It is the style which is at the end of the spectrum where the communication is overwhelmingly concerned with our needs not others.
Use the command style when you legitimately know more than others and need to get your message over clearly and quickly. Such situations include emergencies, deadlines, crises and new situations.
2. Instruct. The "instruct" style of communicating involves less of the absolute telling of the military mode and a little more concern for those on the receiving end. Instructions may still be given in emergencies but the need now is for people to understand and carry them out correctly.
The following instructions were found on the back of a computer: "It is imperative that the batteries in this machine are correctly connected, since, when used under certain unspecified conditions, they could produce a lethal source of electrical power." A more effective form of instructing in this case could be: "Warning! This could kill you!"
3. Propose and Suggest. Proposals and suggestions are valuable components of organisational communications, hence the continuing popularity of the suggestion box and customer questionnaire; but they are of little value without the means to implement good ideas.
In 1943, at the height of the menace by German submarines in the North Atlantic, Allied think tanks were set the task of finding ways to rid the seas of this danger.
One suggestion came from war correspondent Ernie Pile. "Boil the sea!" he said.
"Yes, but how?" came the reply.
"I don't know," said Pile. "I've given you the answer. It's now up to you to find the means."
4. Negotiate. The word "negotiations" comes from the Latin words, "neg" meaning "not" and "otium" meaning "leisure". Negotiations, therefore, mean not leisure, but trade, business, bargaining.
A negotiation is a response to a problem which considers the claims or proposals of the other side equally with your own. Negotiations work best when both sides view the problem as an opportunity for mutual gain. The aim is a settlement which gives you the best deal and is acceptable to them.
5. Persuade. In today's workplaces persuasion is a more appropriate style for getting things done than old-fashioned orders, threats and instructions. When you want something done, people want you to consider their needs not just yours. They want to feel as if you are treating them fairly. They want to be sold not told.
"Managers are increasingly less able to exercise the authority of command and it is increasingly less appropriate to what their organisations need. They need instead to have political skills, such as identifying issues, persuading, building coalitions, campaigning for points of view, and servicing constituencies. The need is for managers to persuade rather than order." (Rosabeth Moss Kanter)
6. Influence. The word "influence" comes from the Latin "in" meaning "in" and "fluere" meaning "to flow". When we influence someone, we literally divert another person's flow in our direction. As Elaine Zucker put it, "Influence is the ability to affect others' thoughts, feelings and actions - seen only in its effects - without exertion of force or formal authority."
Today, influence is a far more effective way of getting others to act than command and tell or instruct. In fact, organisations can be seen as fine weaves of influencing patterns where individuals seek to get others to think or act in certain ways.
7. Listen. Listening is at the opposite end of the communication styles spectrum from command-and-tell. If telling was wholly about our needs, listening is wholly about the needs of others.
Although it does not involve any words on our part, listening is one of the most powerful communications tools. It enables us to access one of the key states for problem-solving and building relationships: silence. It also sends important messages to others: that they are valued and worth our attention. Interestingly, when you practise focused listening, other people's communication becomes sharper and more effective, simply because they know you're in heightened listening mode.
"When you talk, you repeat what you already know. When you listen, you often learn something new." (Jared Sparks 1789-1866)
Most ineffective communicators are ineffective because they operate from a limited range of communication styles. When they open up to the full spectrum of styles, they immediately become more able to respond successfully to any situation they are confronted with.
© Adcidia™ 2010 (Article99.com)
